Just when you thought the Wachowski’s hit rock bottom with Speed Racer,the worst cartoon racing movie of all time, they manage to make Cloud Atlas, the worst Sci-Fi Film, the worst Pirate Movie, the worst Zany Geriatric Escape-Comedy, the worst Victorian Romance, the worst 70′s Blaxploitation flick, AND the worst Post-Apocalyptic Fantasy film ALL AT ONCE, smashing them into the most excruciatingly unbearable 3-hour marathon of audience abuse ever made.
But what did you think? Our review is on the way… which we weren’t going to bother with until it stole 3 hours of our lives away and we felt the deep responsibility to prevent it from happening to you, too.
We were both completely bloody beside ourselves watching the single greatest comic book movie ever made (Nolan who?). But even in Joss’ near perfect comicbook movie with it’s 200M opening weekend, we had a few nits to pick here and there… but hey, we’re geeks!
Tonight is the THE night: midnight screenings of the Avengers abound and the true believers will be strapped in for one hell of a ride when the clock strikes twelve… we’ve got our tickets! So let’s amp up with a little bit of Cap & Thor side by side smackdown and we’ll see you for the review!
Sam Jackson and mischief don’t get along… ever seen Snakes on a Plane? So we’ve got some Loki vs. Fury Whedonesque jibber-jabber this time… next up on our countdown is some Cap and Thor side-by-side smackdown and, of course, witty banter!
How awesome is this!? The creator of such cancelled gems as Firefly (Fox) Dollhouse (Fox) and Angel (Fox) now has the big screen bravado of Robert Downey Jr’s Tony Stark and Sam Jackson’s Nick Fury speaking his sarcastically delicious dialogue in the biggest superhero movie of all time. A helluva step up if you ask us.
Sure, it looks more like Iron Man 3 with some Chrises Evans and Hemsworth cameos, but you can’t help but love the way Tony admires Dr. Banner’s work.
Plus, Tony keeps wearing a Black Sabbath shirt, which is pure Iron Man.
Now, we’re not saying there’s anything WRONG with twisted metal and 3D Bay-splosions… in fact, making a film in 3D seems to have slowed down Bay’s editing pace considerably. But if you were expecting maybe third times the charm for Bay and the Transformers source material, you’ll be just as disappointed by this one as all the others. There’s barely enough to recognize your favourite 80′s cartoon was the basis of this 2.5-hour romp, but after it leaves you exhausted at the credits, you’ll need to watch the original cartoon to remind yourself what the Ark was and that Shockwave has a broader vocabulary than a cockroach.
No Orlando and no Kiera? But we get McShane and Cruz instead? Sounds like a good recipe, but going back to the well after the trilogy has been told is risky. We’re hearing any subsequent Pirates films will be strictly one-offs, so let’s talk about how they set the precedent with “On Stranger Tides”!